july 2nd, 2019

"Jargon" has been on my mind, lately: the words we co-opt, the acronyms, the increasingly diluted definitions; and the subsequent pollution of true meaning, of intention, of connection that certain language is meant for—

Words have power. Jargon is lazy and feigns truth. Weaponizing your (or another's) "struggle" to excuse shitty behavior is selfish. Using "self-care" as excuse to perpetuate negative patterns while avoiding scrutiny is also selfish. Breaking bad habits, self kindness, loving, trust, is a lifelong construction. Don't build your house on sand or marsh or garbage. You deserve better; and, if you find yourself wanting to settle atop shifting soil, you have more excavation to do. Struggle is not weakness, it is courage. Lying is not intelligence or cunning, it is manipulation and cruelty. Withholding information is lying; and humans (especially those wounded) aren't stupid. Addiction, (compulsive, harmful behavior to yourself and others) is an illness, if you're doing the work. It's a fucking excuse if you're not. "Forgiving oneself" is not the ticket to avoiding responsibility for harm caused. It is the commitment to love yourself while you do the uncomfortable, difficult, terrifying work of sitting with parts of yourself that hurt and have hurt others. And, you'll never forgive yourself if you aren't willing to forgive others. (How terrifying: to understand and accept the flaws of your villains as yours, too.) Consider meaning. Stop asking people that you don't care to show-up for, to show-up for you. Stop talking if your words are hollow.

To say: please please discontinue undermining the work of others by diluting the language necessary for communal understanding, relation. We have such limited ways to explain what this is like. Stop undercutting the progress of others by fucking with their sense of safety and well-being. You're fucking with their life when you prescribe your limited worldview on their journey (meaning: quit judging shit you don't even understand.) If you aren't going to do your own work, don't fly the F*cking flag of those who are working their asses off.