I didn’t report, never have.

TRIGGER WARNING: Abuse 

#BelieveSurvivors #BelieveWomen  

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I’m a survivor. I didn’t report because no one helped. Because it made things worse. Because the first time, she stood me in front of my abuser and told him what I’d said. Because he denied it and I was punished. Because after they punished me, she put me in a car with him to be driven to the airport. Because they sent me away for months. Because on the drive to the airport he looked at me, alone in the front seat, and slurred: “I didn’t do anything wrong last night.” Because it didn’t stop. Because I still had to hold his hand and call him daddy. Because, after a decade of abuse later, the information was used against me to humiliate me and benefit the party that told me to shut my mouth to watch what I say to stop spreading lies the first time it happened. As an adult, I didn’t report because I was made to believe I deserved it and that my past negated the gravity of current abuses. Because it was my fault. Because the abused are broken and the broken invite such punishment. Because not all abusers are men. Because I got tired of telling the stories over and over. Yea—


Because I got fucking tired.


It’s taken me until my thirties to talk about my trauma; and, further into my thirties to tell the actual stories, name the abusers. My fear response is something I work on daily. I still crumble when I need help. I’m scared to ask at all. I still struggle with what is and isn’t “abuse”. what did and didn’t “count”. Who was and wasn’t — I’m exhausted.


Dear Friends, I love y’all. But plz remember: good allyship begins at home, amongst friends, family, romantic interests; not at the voting booth, not on the internet. It is your integrity that matters not your political showmanship or your fake ass self serving activism chic bullshit. Enough with activism as an aesthetic, as a brand. It’s transparent. It’s gross.


I don’t care how much you vote or donate or forward and repost. I don’t care what your gender is or what you look like. The way I see some of y’all (boys & girls) treat victims is square to your declarations of civic responsibility and displays of outrage *for* those who suff