San Francisco East Coast Blues

San Francisco East Coast Blues --

New York I'll always be dying to be with you. We're older now - you still rough and tumble, you with the brand new condo, haircut. But, I see the dirt under your nails and the callus on your forefinger, the ink stain on your middle and thumb.

Why don't we get a chop cheese and a bottle of something and sit on that park bench, watch the little kids play hoops on the asphalt; their hands too small to palm a basketball but their faces all Steph Curry? (or Lebron, I don't care who you shouted for but we both know it 'aint the Knicks & Nets)

New York lets be honest. We'll never be together again; maybe save the occasional passing on the way to my best friend's wedding. Your familiar face, I'd spot in a crowd. I'd duck into a corner store, pet the cat, slip out with a bouquet of blue and purple daisies - bodega flowers my favorite. You remember?

New York, remember when I showed up the second time: hair cropped, bruised and blonde and chain smoking? I sat on the fire escape of Jen's apartment - corner of 2nd Ave and where again? - lit up a Natty that I paid too much for out of celebration (and a 15 dollar farewell to smoking) and listened to the bar sounds and traffic, the swelter and conversation. Do you remember?

I had so much faith then, that you'd be mine again. Sitting on that fire escape, breathing breathing finally -

- I honestly believed that I'd come back home.

(Re) Writing Mother on The Rumpus!

Read my essay "(Re)Writing Mother" on The Rumpus! (OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMG SQUEEE!)

I'm so grateful for the opportunity and thank you to everyone who supported and believed in my work/words. This is a very personal essay and I hope it offers you, the reader, something worth holding. Love & Much Gratitude - 

(Re)Writing Mother

PS -- I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts. Please let me know what you think! (if anyone is reading this... ha) 

How to Fight Loneliness | WILCO


How to fight loneliness
Smile all the time
Shine you teeth til meaningless
Sharpen them with lies

And whatevers going down
Will follow you around
Thats how you fight loneliness
You laugh at every joke
Drag your blanket blindly
Fill your heart with smoke
And the first thing that you want
Will be the last thing you ever need
Thats how you fight it

Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time
Just smile all the time